{"id":319270,"date":"2010-09-21T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-09-21T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/casadecampoliving.com\/ask-andrea-squirrels-and-elephants-learning-how-to-choose-your-battles\/"},"modified":"2022-10-21T17:53:37","modified_gmt":"2022-10-21T21:53:37","slug":"ask-andrea-squirrels-and-elephants-learning-how-to-choose-your-battles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/casadecampoliving.com\/es\/ask-andrea-squirrels-and-elephants-learning-how-to-choose-your-battles\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask Andrea: Squirrels and Elephants, learning how to \u2018choose your battles\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In this post, our education consultant Andrea Glovsky, talks about \u2018Squirrels and Elephants\u2019 basically answering the important question; \u201cHow do I guide my child along the \u2018right\u2019 path, without too much confrontation?\u201d Andrea explains that \u2018winning\u2019 battles is about choosing your battles; Elephants are topics\/battles worth fighting over (drugs for example) whilst squirrels and topics\/battles not worth fighting over (an untidy room for example.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

SQUIRRELS AND ELEPHANTS<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dirty room, long messy hair, black clothes, piercings, pants drooping below the hips \u2013 these are all ways adolescents use to express their individuality, or gain acceptance by their peers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How many times does a parent say, \u201cYou can\u2019t go out looking like that.\u201d or \u201cClean up that mess or you\u2019 re grounded!\u201d Teens live in their own world of today \u2013 here and now. The teens I help with finding colleges, cannot think beyond what they want at the present moment. They cannot project two years down the road. Parents, on the other hand, consider their needs, wants, history of yesterday, today, and tomorrow; a clear recipe for a clash. An old friend and adolescent psychologist Jim Garvin used to remind me that if we push too hard on what the students wear, they may turn and express their individuality in a manner that is far worse than clothes. The study of the adolescent brain has gone on since the early last century. There are no real answers as to why teens are who they are and do what they do. Some say it is just the developing and changing synapses, others blame it on hormones. It doesn\u2019t matter what causes the adolescent brain to respond and act the way it does, rather it is the roller coaster ride of emotions and thoughts that matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What can you do to stay off the roller coaster? How can you guide your children along the \u2018right\u2019 path?
\n<\/strong>It is important to assess your goals and priorities.
\nMake a list of the big things that matter to you and identify the things you need and want to stand tough on, for example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n